Most young girls have it in their minds that they will go to college, graduate and get a good job, then meet the love of their lives whom they marry and have babies with. In reality, it doesn’t always happen like that. Most times, we have our babies first, some of us get married, some of us don’t. According to talk show host Wendy Williams, if you want your career to thrive, marriage and babies should come after.
So Wendy sat down with Moira Forbes, the owner of ‘Forbes Women’ to discuss how insecurities of a man can cause him to lose a successful woman, and how marriage and children can stunt a woman’s career growth no matter how hard she works.
Wendy says:
We can debate this all day. Every woman has a different view and there are some women who have an opinion and are scared to voice their opinion on it. But I’m not afraid to voice mine— don’t throw tomatoes. I do feel it is difficult for men to accept really successful career women. Whether it be that we out-earn them or the marquee, our names are brighter than their own. I also feel like marriage and babies stunt a woman’s growth career-wise and they don’t understand like, once you get married and once you have kids, you can’t do all the things that you used to do and maintain this important precious thing you’ve built as a family.
Wendy then went on to say that our 20’s should be used to grow our business/brand because families are going to need all of your time.
So my suggestion to women, always, is to use your entire 20s…work your behind off in your career and get some ground footing, then think about meeting that guy. Even if you’ve met him at 27, don’t get engaged and don’t move to where he is. This is about you and your career. Because we are the ones that lose in marriage. Not men! Men can have all their boys’ nights out and whenever we have a girls’ night out I’m always, ‘I gotta leave, it’s soccer practice.’ I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I’m saying that as a woman who’s been married for 17 years, we’re still expected to empty the dishwasher and we’re still expected to maintain our household.
Ladies, her advice is valid. Now, me personally, I don’t want to be pregnant in my 30’s or 40’s, but before you have kids, your freedom allows you to move and shake a lot more, especially if you have a plan. This isn’t for the young women who are just blowing in the wind. This is for the young women who have goals they are trying to achieve. My 20’s have been about my family. I am 27 with 3 children all under 10, and have been married 2 years. I decided to get my company up and running after I already had kids but it is harder. I have to make my schedule around my family because I still have to get kids ready for school, make lunches, cook dinner, clean the house, send and answer emails, work on my company and my brand. Luckily my husband is very supportive and we are building together but we still have challenges. Now if you have family or friends that can help you out, then you indeed have a blessing on your hands. It is not easy, but it pushes you harder because now you have little ones to leave a legacy for.
Don’t get it twisted though, having a family and kids doesn’t mean stop your hustle, it means getting up earlier and going to bed later. It means helping with homework and researching at the same time. The real MVP always finds a way. Shout out to us!
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